Carrot Top

My Uncle is hilarious, having a sense of humor almost as funny as his beloved ginger hair.


The Strong Cowgirl

The subject of the following article will remain anonymous for her own safety and sanity. This hardworking horse lover has been through hard times. Her family is a mess: her dad has rheumatoid arthritis which limits his movement rendering him incapable of taking care of her or her younger brother, and her mother is an undiagnosed bipolar-psychotic. Okay psychotic might be an exaggeration, but she is certainly bipolar. Both of them fight constantly. So this brave 17-year-old is left parenting her younger brother. She makes dinner, cleans dishes, pays for her own food and clothes, and on top of that she has to work at the barn in order to pay for her horse’s board. As far as boyfriend’s go, she has somehow managed to find the worst. From emotional manipulators, to disrespectful, immature little boys she has had the best intentions and the worst luck. It makes it harder for her to show her emotions and open her heart to others.


Drama is usually part of the horse-barn lifestyle and this girl’s life is no exception. She is a straightforward, honest person who doesn’t deal with other people’s crap, yet somehow she gets caught up in the most over-the-top situations you can imagine. When she fell in love with a beautiful palomino horse, the owner threatened to take it away from her on numerous occasions. After spending almost a month in the hospital due to a bone cyst in her lower leg, she came home to find that she had been replaced at work. Once she was finally given enough shifts to pay for the procedures her horse needed, she was told that she would no longer be paid for her work at the barn.


Being an emotional person myself, it is hard to see her go through all of this crap. Whether she’s grumpy and yelling or heartbroken, frustrated, and crying, I only wish I could do something to make it better.
I, however, have really high hopes for her future. I believe that if you start at the bottom you can only go up. She is a fantastic, hardworking student, a prizewinning, horse-riding, athlete, and a talented caring person. I proud to call her my friend.


The name of the subject in this article will remain anonymous for now because for some reason, I feel more comfortable being vague and mysterious.
This 6’ 7’’ Ariana Grande loving 18 year old boy is a rare breed. He is kinder than you would expect out of a varsity basket-ball player but, then again, a lot of things about him surprised me.

He always wakes up at five in the morning no matter what day of the week it is. On weekends he goes fishing. He isn’t the best at this sport, but it is the one thing that relaxes him. When he goes fishing he doesn’t have to think about his fear of heights, his plummeting grades, or his emotionally abusive basketball coach. He can just sit in his little rowboat and enjoy the silence.

For four long years he’s played basketball on the school’s team. He worked his way from a long legged, uncoordinated freshmen to a confident, ball dunking, varsity player. His friends are what keep him going. Without them, he would never have put up with his coach for this long. At least he knows what he never wants to grow up to be. Coach is insane. Coach throws tantrums, puts down the team, and belittles every single accomplishment.

Anxiety for this young man is a huge obstacle. He hates trying new things. He knows it should be fun and exciting, but he dreads the unexpected. He worries that he will fail in front of all of the people he’s trying to impress. In this aspect I can relate completely.

In all reality, he is a chill, generally nice guy, but he can’t see that. Everybody else sees the great in him. It’s almost hypocritical for me to write that, considering my similar situation, but I feel as if, being the judgmental person I am, I can see myself objectively and know for a fact that I have no assets. I wonder if that’s how he feels?

Peeling Onions

This article is about a boy at my school that shall remain anonymous for the purpose of my safety. Due to past experiences, I would not put physical or mental attacks past him. After all, he once stormed out of a room and threw his head against a wall because some other boy “stole” his crush. For a while, I considered him a friend, but recently I have found him more similar to a pet parrot that won’t stop talking. It’s quite possible I’d prefer the latter. I think perhaps a parrot might realize that it was not the most important thing in the room. I have never met a more self serving, ass kissing boy in my life.

Remember that kid in kindergarten that everyone hated? That’s him. Mrs. Sunshine or whatever, would say something like, “Alright class we are all going to eat apples for snack.” Then this kid goes, “Yeah, I love apples, but I think the Latin name is malum. Did you know that Newton’s favorite fruit was actually the pear? By the way Mrs. Sunshine, you’re my favorite teacher ever.” The class collectively rolls their eyes at the aspiring brown-noser.

Nowadays he masquerades behind a shield of self-righteousness and the entire oxford dictionary, but if you spend a day with him you can peel his layers off like an onion. Speaking of onions, he is also similar to this disgusting vegetable in that no matter how stupid it seems, you can’t help but cry when you’re around him and he often leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth. He will whine and moan for hours about how nobody loves him, but when you try to be kind, you are never good enough for him. He holds the worst qualities of a modern day “hipster” and the worst part is that he’s proud of it like a pirate and his gold. Unlike buried treasure, however, no matter how deep you’re digging, you never find anything but frustration and disappointment at the lack of human emotions and likable qualities in this husk of a person.

Harsh? Maybe, but I will say that I am just as harsh to myself. If you knew the kind of tears and rage a single sentence from his mouth can induce then you’d see how warranted this article is.