Reality Television

This evening, I sat down to watch television with my family. As usual, nobody could agree on anything. Ben, my brother, refused to do anything family related as he has recently joined the joy-hating teenager’s society and my Dad would only agree to cheesy sitcoms and low budget action movies. Finally, after the boys stormed out in frustration, Mom and I chose one of the few genres we could agree on: reality television. We settled into couch pillows and fuzzy blankets and started a random episode of Cupcake Wars.

This show involves three teams of aspiring bakers making thousands of cupcakes with weirdly specific themes and ingredients, but one of the most entertaining aspects of the show is the judging panel. Firstly, there’s the basic white chick, Candace Nelson. She says posh, complimentary things about literally every cupcake no matter how mushy or unattractive. Secondly there’s Florian Bellanger the snooty, anal-retentive French chef. He talks as if he had a small fish in the side of his mouth and his lazy accent makes fun of itself. Every critique sounds as if he takes out a thesaurus and uses fifty different synonyms for the word horrendous.

Though I know nothing about baking, or cupcake aesthetics, after a few episodes, I develop an opinion. It’s kind of funny actually. I will lean over to my mom and say things like, “That buttercream is too dense! I can’t believe Felicity just ruined that entire batch of cupcakes!” even though I have pretty much no clue about what I’m talking about.

Let’s all just be honest: judging people is fun! If you think you’re life is a mess, just watch The Bachelor! That’s why shows like Jersey Shore and Sister Wives exist: to make us feel like better people. Maybe I have a crappy job and no friends, but at least my hair doesn’t look like a greasy porcupine. Even if I have no money and no significant other, at least I’m not living in a house with my husband, his six other wives, and their nasty children. So…basically I consider reality television, along with copious amounts of ice cream, is a great coping skill for most people’s first world problems. Happy viewing!

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